Friday, July 25, 2008

Why Step Parenting Is So Hard

By: Scott Fromherz

Without a doubt, step parenting is one of the biggest challenges facing anyone. A family has been torn apart by divorce and the children are caught in the middle of it. Unfortunately, after the child, the step parent has the next big challenge. The only person on ones side is hopefully your spouse.

It can be a humbling experience for anyone put into that situation. Something that may help in step parenting is learning the chemistry of a new household. This takes time and a lot of patience, because the new step parent wants to become loved and accepted. Depending on the age of the kids, this may never happen. Even if the step parent wants it to happen, the kids are who really will decide to either accept the individual or to put them in the "You're not my parent" box. The range of emotions that step parenting brings can really take a toll on an individual.

Something that helps is talking; talk to friends and talk to your spouse. There isn't any easy formula for success, but by talking about it lets people get all the hurt out. Not talking about the problems can make someone ill and it can really break people down. When the person tries to handle step parenting alone, the marriage can be put at risk. Your spouse won't understand all of the emotions and the anger and so it is important to keep him informed in order for him to help out.

Step Parenting Older Children

One area of step parenting that can be easier to work on is when the kids are almost ready to leave the home as adults. They probably won't consider the step parent a mom or dad, and it may make having a friendship easier. One thing to mention is the terrible fact of divorce; they take place everyday and that is really sad.

If there were mitigating circumstances such as abuse or infidelity, then it is easier to understand a divorce. But in today's world, people get divorced because they are tired of dealing with the spouse. No matter what people think about each other, there will be other negatives. People make mistakes, people will argue and fight and people may say hurtful things - that is all part of life. Try to remember why the two people fell in love in the beginning. Step parenting is harder than parenting, so give it more time to work.



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